Jessica (moovelvet) wrote in dear_god_its_me,
Jessica
moovelvet
dear_god_its_me

One large rant, xposted to my journal.

Hey,
Its me again, your almost one and only poster... but that doesn't mean that you dont get 6 billion other people requesting stuff today.

Today's request, make people understand that I dont have time, that I have to get my ass in gear, that I need help. That telling me to make a budget does not fucking help me now. That I'm really really really really frustrated with people and life in general. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of people and I want the fuck out. But I'm still here and I'm gonna push through this fucked up world and get what I want out of it. Even if I dont know what the fuck it is that I want. Right, so how am I supposed to get something if I dont know what I want?

Do you know what I hate? People who bitch about spending too much money, and whining that they have none when they have an assload of it in the bank. Do you know how that makes me feel? It makes me feel like ass, because when I say I have no money, I literally have NO MONEY. I generally don't have a dollar. If I have a dollar, then I have money. ONE DOLLAR. I hate this system. I hate it where people are money hungry mongers who wont help out their fellow person, who pays for a crap load of shit for them. I am upset with how this works, and its not going to work this way anymore for me. Nope, no more. The bank has closed. No presents, no free food, no gas in your car, no fucking anything.

What else pisses me off? People who lack understanding in why I'm so stressed out and then ask me to calm down. I'm not gonna calm down cause you ask me or rather tell me too. It doesn't work that way. AT ALL.

Hrm, and one more rant for you Dear God/Allah/any other name you go by, I HATE that I work my ass off to fit everyone into my schedule, I skip shit, I move shit, I drive out of my way. But in the long run, I do it for someone else, but no one else does it for me. I'm tired of rearranging my life so that I can work with another person's schedule. I'm tired of making plans and then having them shot down. I'm tired... just really really tired. And the sad thing, I'm only 20.

My wish for today, is that I had had a childhood, where it was carefree and worrying about myself didn't exist. Where I had toys I could play with, where I had a mom who would take me to the zoo or the park or someplace else. Camping would have been nice. I grew up waaaay too fast, and I think it damaged my adulthood.


Thank you for listening,

Jessica
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